Late night charge

Can anyone tell me why I simply can't sleep even at this weird hour?

Ever since I started working on my current Job, it's almost my daily routine to stare blank (open eyes BIG BIG!) a this time. I'm not complaining as I jolly well understand the pros and cons of it. ( Anyway, as i mention, I enjoy this period as its' the most quiet time of the day.) Due to this weird weird habit, I make it a point to meditate for the day; identifying any gaffe. Whenever I spot a boo-boo act, I will always tell myself not to do it again. (Pls, are you a idiot to do this kind of stupid things?) By the facts of all, history do repeats unfortunately. But at least I can minimize it to the minimum... (I'm trying! I'm trying!) Hoping that one day, HISTORY DON'T REPENT! (Blessing in disguise i suppose...)

The down side of it is that I have to wake up the next morning, reaching my office at 0830hrs.
And for your info, just to sound more convincing, I just got home from work about 2 hours ago... ( Wah, super idol...) or some may say (Wah, STUPID LAH!) Anyway, its' up to you to guage and luckily, I don't want to know.

If not for this job, I dun know what or who I will be now. Still selling fruits and tropical fishes? To be honest, that period of time is the best so far. ( can't say best of my life since i have yet to gone through half of it, i suppose lah hor.) Gone are the worries and deadlines to meet. Bubbles oozing out of the tanks spawning the voices of mother nature, so carefree and smoothening to the ear.... Hundreds and thousands of fishes dancing along with the waves forming a breathtaking musical opera. (Okie, stop dreaming and talking rubbish.... NOW!) The fact is that that with that kind of life, only within my dreams am I able to own a cubbyhole, not even mentioning this laptop I'm on.

Am I living a meaningful life? Am I ripping off my prime youth period, my knowledge and the potential within me. Is it the life I'm striking for or just trying to break away from reality. This are the questions I ask myself at that moment and even till today. Currently, my revitalized life revolves around work and work and work and work and er.... a little bit of sleep. And not to forget blogging of cos.... No regrets at least to this moment b'cos I know that the hardwork I'm putting in are appreciated. (Anyway die die have to work, why not work hard hard HARD! so that you can harvest earlier and retire lah.) Sounds like only pros and no cons leh!

The contradicting part of life is......... To be honest, if i have a choice or rather if I'm not part of this miserable and horrigible (Horrible + Terrible) materialistic world, I would still setter for the former. Fuck care all but ........ only if I strike Toto this friday... Dreamz on............... gd nite.............


I have set long terms as well as short terms goals for myself as a driving force.
A person without goals will only live tomorrow just like today or yesterday.